For those of you who don't know, AFP stands for alpha-fetoprotien. The alpha-fetoprotein test is where a blood sample is drawn from me at a specific date in the pregnancy to check the levels of AFP. AFP is a protein put out by the baby's liver and shows up in my blood. It is generally used to provide a screening for neural tube defects like spina bifida and ancephaly. It can also indicate a host of other things such as Down Syndrome or Trisomy 18.
Some people are vehemently opposed to this test because they believe it to be a way for the mother to end a pregnancy that is not going to bring forth the 'perfect' child. This is not the case for us. We not only believe that abortion is wrong, we believe that this child was formed in my womb according to God's plan and while we know that no child is 'perfect', God's plan for our lives certainly is. We have this test done because the hospital where I plan to deliver does not have the necessary resources to care for special needs babies. The closest one to us that would be able to handle these cases is an hour and a half away.
We had the AFP done with both of our other two boys. With Noah, the test came back that there was a possibility of spina bifida. We were scared out of our minds, but we were sent for a detailed ultrasound and the doctors determined that everything was fine, they just had my due date wrong. With Jonah, the results came back indicating a need for further testing for Down Syndrome. We were sent to a genetic counselor who determined that he had a 79% probability of having Down Syndrome with a heart defect. They had to do an amniocenteses along with a detailed ultrasound to rule out that possibility. The two weeks waiting for the results to come back were the longest weeks of my life, but everything once again turned out just fine.
I am up in the middle of the night not really worrying about the results, but more wrestling with the question of why I am even having this test done. I understand the medical reasons; it would definitely be better for my baby to be born in a place where he can be best taken care of, no matter what the health conditions are. I also understand that I have my own selfish reasons; I don't want to be put in the situation of having my newborn flown to a medical center over an hour away while I am stuck recovering in the hospital where I gave birth. What I am having a hard time understanding is why I feel the need for this test in the first place. Am I taking something out of God's hands and putting it in my own? Is it wrong to rely on a test that is often used by others as a basis for determining if a life is valid? I know that this little baby's life is valid. I feel him squirming around as I type this. There is no test result that will ever change the love that I have for him or the desire to hold him in my arms. I guess what I have come up with is that I want what is best for my baby, and this test is helping me provide that. So there...now we wait, and hopefully I can get some sleep.
2 comments:
Already the worrying begins, even before the baby is born! Mothers!
You've already had the test, so stop worrying about whether or not it was a good idea to have it in the first place. You have to do what is right for YOU, and not worry about what others think about it. (Sounds simple, right?!)
There are a lot of false positives with tests like these, so keep that in mind when you get the results. (You already know that through your two perfectly healthy boys.)
I deliver at a hospital that has the best NICU around (and I drive almost an hour to THAT hospital for that very reason), so I've never thought about having the test done.
I'm praying God will bring you peace as you wait for the results.
I did not have the test done because the Dr. said there is nothing they could do to help anything if they found out something was wrong, except like you said, have the baby at a hospital with a NICU. So I decided not to have it mainly because if something was wrong I would be worried my whole pregnancy. I think in your situation since you are going to a hospital that is an hour and a half away with a NICU and specialists, I think it is good that you had it done. I couldn't imagine being so far from my baby after it was just born. I hope everything comes back good on the test. I will be praying for you and the baby =).
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