How did I do?

 

Last year  I resolved...

...to not yell at my children.
Ummmm, I think I broke that one on January 1st, and 2nd, and 3rd....but, I did remember to apologize to my children when I lost my temper or treated them unfairly.  Hopefully that makes up for something.

...to remember that not everyone is comfortable with me nursing in public.
I actually did do this until June when my Mom made me such a cute little nursing cover.  I just had to show it off a couple of times in public!

...to make school more fun.
I'm still working on this one.  Each day gets a little more fun!

...to put my husband's needs above my own.
This was a hard one for me.  If I am honest, poor Joe sometimes gets pushed to the side.  He takes care of me so well and complains so little, that sometimes I overlook his needs.  I am striving to be a better wife than he is a husband...but that will take a lot of work.

...to exercise every day.
Well, I got out of bed every day.  Exercising is hard when you have four little ones, but I have done okay.  Getting everyone involved in exercise has been the key for us...even if it is just a walk to the mailbox and back.

...to work on that filter between my brain and my mouth.
Can we just skip this one?

...to do better at keeping in touch with extended family.
I have tried.  Sometimes it is frustrating when you try and try and get no effort back in return.  However, I will not give up on letting my family know how important they are to me, because it is not about whether or not they reciprocate....Granny Faye taught me that you never wait for the other person to speak first. 

...to stop procrastinating.
I have given up on this one.  It just isn't in my nature.  I work better under pressure anyway.

...to keep up with my blog, this includes updating the events I have missed.
Obviously that has not happened since I blogged a whopping 17 times during the entire year of 2012.  I do want to work on this though.  I enjoy blogging and am just going to have to make the time to continue.

...to be nice, even when people provoke me to be naughty.
Yeah, we are skipping this one too.

...to stop using so many ellipses in my writing.
Ugh!  It has gotten worse.  Now not only am I using excessive ellipses, I have also been reduced to using LOL, and :-) to express my emotions in writing.  I tell myself that I am going to stop....and then it happens again!

...to thank God more and take for granted less.
I have certainly tried to to this, and my children have been a great help in that area.  There is nothing like viewing the world through a child's eyes to make you thankful.

...to keep up with the laundry in my house.
Skipping again.  Really?  Whatever even made me think that was possible?

...to not stress over muddy footprints on a clean kitchen floor.
Hmmm, to be honest, I never really stressed over them anyway!  So that was an easy one for me.  Maybe I should have tried to stress over the state of my floors a little more.


So....my 2012 resolutions were pretty much a bust!  That doesn't mean though that I will not have 2013 resolutions.  I think it is important to keep trying, to keep striving toward that goal, even though we know we will never meet perfect this side of heaven.

Halfway There

This week is a milestone week in the Givens home.  Noah's birthday is Wednesday.  My first baby boy will be nine years old.  NINE!  I can hardly believe it.  He is so excited that he will be in his last single digit year.  However, for me it is a little bittersweet.  NINE....
I am a numbers person.  Different combinations of numbers run in my mind all of the time.  Strange I know, just add it to the growing list of strange things about me.  So anyway when I hear nine I automatically think about 9+9=18.  EIGHTEEN...the year my first baby boy will become a legal adult.  My time as his legal guardian is half over.  HALF OVER! That takes my breath away.
Where did it go? How can this be true?  It seems as if just yesterday I was standing in the bathroom of our first home staring at a piece of plastic as a second pink line was gradually appearing and I realized that my life had changed forever.  Now half of the time I am allotted to mold and shape him has gone. 
In realizing that half of my time has slipped away I am plagued with the guilt that every parent has.  Have I done enough?  I think of all the times that I know I could have done more.  Could have read one more story, splashed one more time in the bath, raced matchbox cars, said prayers, gave hugs, taught him more...I could go on and on.  I look at Noah and wonder if I am doing it right, if he is going to turn out okay.
This has plagued me for about a week now, but today Noah gave me the best confirmation ever.  See he asked for only one thing for Christmas.  He wanted a blue pedal go-cart from Tractor Supply Company.  Joe and I were able to purchase it for him and he has had the best time with that thing.  I believe we got our money's worth of fun out of it on Christmas day.  Everything else has just been a bonus.  I have loved watching Noah enjoy his gift and seeing him light up when he is on it.
This evening Noah came into the house with tears streaming down his face.  I asked him if he was hurt and he shook his head no.  In between sobs he told me that he had decided to give his blue pedal go-cart to his brother Jonah.  I didn't understand.  When I asked him why, he looked at me with those sweet gentle eyes of his and said, "Mom, have you seen how much he loves it? He smiles so big when he rides it.  As much as I love it, I think he loves it even more."  I grabbed Noah and held on tight.  Tears were streaming down my face at that moment too.  It took a while for me to form a response.  My sweet Noah was willing to give up something that he loved, even though it was tearing him up, just so someone else could be happy. 
Yep, my Noah is going to turn out just fine....and the best part is that he still has nine more years to keep teaching me how to be just like him.