Time Caspule

This morning as I was hurrying the kids through breakfast I checked my calendar to see what the day looked like and was reminded that it was leap year day.  I tried to remember what I had done last leap year day but since I can't even remember what I did last week, there really was no use wasting time on that.  Since looking back wasn't doing any good, I thought about when the next leap year day would be.   I was shocked to realize that by the time leap year rolls around again, my first born will be on the verge of being a teenager and the little baby that is attached to me 24/7 will be getting ready for Kindergarten. 

Aaaack!  Where does the time go?  It is like that saying that the days are long, but the years are short.  Some days (especially when Joe is on the road) it feels like bedtime will never get here, but then I look at my growing children and wonder where the time has gone.

In four years will I even remember the hectic crazy days of homeschooling a second grader, entertaining two preschoolers, caring for an infant, and running a small business?  I would like to think so, but since I can't even remember last week...

Anyway, I decided that instead of making a styrofoam frog for leap year, I would spend that time with each of my children asking questions to be put into a "time capsule" to be opened next leap year day.  Here are some of the questions I asked:
How old are you?
What is your favorite color?
If you could spend one day doing anything you wanted, what would it be?
Who would you spend it with?
Where is your favorite place?
What do you think you will be like in four years?
What is important to you today?

If you have never asked your children any of these questions, I would advise you to do so.  I was amazed at their answers.  Even Micah (three this week) was very sure of what he wanted to say!  I let the older boys answer for Ezrah, but I have four boys here that think they are going to be just like their Daddy in four years. 

The boys also helped me fill out my own questionnaire. When we got to the "What do you think you will be like in four years?"  Noah piped up and said, "Well, I think you should be nicer."  I couldn't help but laugh.  It is such a Noah thing to say, and I think that it proves I am doing something right if my kids realize that I can't be "nice" all of the time.

So that was our leap year day activity.  We just have to wait for Daddy to get home and fill out his questionnaire, then put the whole packet on the top shelf of the closet to pull out on 2-29-2016...if I can remember it...do you think there is an app for that?

The Taste Of Love

My Aunt Elaine makes the best chicken pot pie ever.  She has given me her recipe and I have attempted it several times.  Each time gets better than the last, but I still can't quite get it as good as hers.  I made it tonight and I must say that it was exceptionally good.  As we were sitting at the table, Jonah asked for seconds.  When I put some on his plate he asked what I had put in the pie.  I started listing off the ingredients (chicken, corn, potatoes, peas, carrots...) when he interrupted me; "But what is it that makes it taste so good?"
I smiled and winked and said, "Well that is all the love I put in!"  Jonah then picked up a large peice of the crust and said, "See this yummy part Daddy?  That is called the love!" 
I thought Joe was going to fall out of his chair laughing and I suddenly could not see past the tears that filled my eyes.  If any of you knew my Grandmother, you know why this affected me so.   Granny Faye's favorite part of anything was the crust.  You could always tell when Granny had been into any pie because the crust would be missing all the way around.  She would claim that it just fell off, but we all knew what really happened.  It is strange that simple things like pie crust can make me miss my grandmother the most.
Tonight I am thankful for family recipes, laughter, and sweet memories.  However, I am most thankful for the four little boys who constantly bring those sweet memories to life while creating new ones of their own.  I never look at pie crust without thinking of Granny Faye, and now I will not be able to look at it without thinking of her as well as Jonah's definition of love.

I Have Finally Done It!

What have I done?

Four kids and nearly nine years later, I now weigh less than I did when I got married.  As of this morning I have lost a total of 70 pounds.  It is not where I need to be by any means, but it still feels good to reach this mark.

Why have I done it?

After Ezrah was born, I knew that I had to get healthy.  I refused to be insulin dependent at the age of 33.  My children deserve a Mom who has the energy to play with them and is healthy enough to be around when they reach high school.

How did I do it?

There really is no magic formula.  I simply practiced portion control and stopped eating when I was full.  I still eat the same foods I used to eat, I just don't eat as much of them anymore.  I have been trying to walk at least three times a week.  My Mom has been walking with me and that is such a big help.  When she can't join me, I let Noah and Jonah ride bikes while I try to keep up with them carrying Ezrah in his sling and pushing Micah in the stroller.  That has to be the best workout ever!

When will I reach my goal?

Never.  I do not have a goal of a certain amount of pounds or a certain size that I want to be.  My goal is to make healthy choices for myself and for my family everyday for the rest of my life.  I would love to hear any tips you may have on what, why, and how you have made healthy choices in your lives.  This is a work in progress and I can use all the advice I can get!

Surplus

I have already mentioned that we have been going through a tough time lately.  We are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but financially things were probably as close to being as bad as they have ever been.  It took everything we had just to keep our business afloat.  Small business ownership is not fun at times.  Not only was our family depending on the success of our business, we had drivers and their families depending upon it as well.  In order to keep our business in operation, we chose to put fuel in the trucks rather than a paycheck in our pocket.  It was stressful.  It was hard.  It made me cry. 

It is also was one of the best experiences I have ever had. 

Until Valentines day I had not stepped foot into a store this YEAR, except for when I went to purchase a gift for Noah's birthday.  That is right, we went for nearly 45 days without buying groceries, household supplies, or anything else.  I learned over the past few weeks that we can survive on so much less than what we use.  I planned my meals from only what I had in the pantry and freezer, and while they both were looking quite a bit barer by last week, we could have certainly gone longer if I had just been a little more creative!  My Mom brought over a few things for the kids (hot-dogs, bologna, and fresh fruit occasionally) and while I am grateful that she did, we were fine without it.  What I am most grateful for is the resourcefulness that she taught me growing up.  She taught me not to be wasteful and to use what I had.  I feel so blessed to have had parents and grandparents who instilled in me a good work ethic and taught me skills that I need in order to make it through the tough times.

It would have been relatively easy for me to apply for government assistance during this time.  I am sure that right now we would still qualify, but if I don't HAVE to have it, I refuse to use it...and right now we don't HAVE to have it.  When things got tight I pulled out the cloth diapers, canned tomatoes, and dried beans.  My family has had healthy meals on the table every day.  Actually the meals have been healthier than when I was getting to the store every week and buying the foods that they want but are not necessarily good for them. 

Now I am not writing this for people to send us food, money, or to even feel sorry for us.  I am writing it because I am amazed at the surplus that I did not even realize existed in my own home.  Once my eyes were opened to it, I began looking at the surplus all around.  We as Americans have become fat and lazy.  We are used to having the best and most of everything.  When times are hard, we still want what we are accustomed to getting instead of tightening our belt and adjusting our lifestyle.

I pray that I am able to keep my children grounded as my parents did for me.  I pray that they will always find ways to adjust to the circumstances life throws at them without sitting back and expecting someone or some government agency to step in and provide a lifestyle for them based on what they think they need.  I have found these past few weeks that what we think we need is just surplus that keeps us from seeing what is truly important.

The Straw

It has been a rough couple of months here for us.  Between drivers quiting, major mechanical breakdowns, lack of work, and legal issues, we have had about as much as we can take financially and emotionally.  I have held up pretty well through all of it, believing that things will get better even if I can't see it at the moment...until tonight.  Tonight was nearly the straw that broke the camel's back.
Joe is trying to replace a motor in one of our trucks and had been back at the shop working on it all day today.  It is unusually cold here right now, in the twenties with a crazy wind that will knock your feet right out from under you.  In order to stay warm at the shop, Joe has a primitive but effective homemade wood burner that he uses.  I had just warned him this morning to be very careful with the fire, since we do not have luck with that and also because we are under a red flag warning for our county due to dry conditions and the crazy wind.  When Joe finally knocked off this evening and came into the house he said that he would not have been able to work back there if he had not had the fire going, but not to worry because he had put plenty of water all around the fire to make sure that it did not get out.
About 2:00 this morning, Joe woke me in a panic.  He said for me to get up and look back at the shop and tell him if he was seeing things or if our shop was on fire.  I ran to the window and saw a flickering glow all over the area where our shop is.  I immediately felt sick to my stomach and thought that for the first time in my life I was going to faint.  Joe was standing there in shock and asked me again to tell him that he was not seeing what he thought he was seeing.  The only thing I could say was "hurry, hurry, hurry".  He threw on his overalls and ran out the door.  He had walked home from the shop that evening, so he used my van to get back there quickly.  I checked on all the kids and then grabbed my jeans and tennis shoes (Yes, I remembered to put shoes on this time!) to run back there and help him.  As I was walking out the door, I thought about calling 911.  I could not stop the panic and tears as I ran back inside to grab my cell phone.  I turned it on and was dialing 911 when I saw Joe headed back up to the house in my van.  My first thought was that it was no use, that it was so bad he had not even tried to put it out.  Everything was a total loss.  I ran out to the van and Joe was smiling....yes, SMILING!  Turns out Joe had left the lights on at the shop and the wind was blowing so hard that it was literally shaking the entire shop and therefore giving the effect of flickering firelight.
And I thought that children took years off of your life...turns out that it is husbands that do the most damage!!! 
It has been nearly an hour, and I still can't sleep.  I keep thinking back to that moment when I truly thought all was lost.  At that moment I could not see a way out.  I could not see how it would get better.  I could not see a silver lining.  I certainly could not see myself laughing about it in the next five minutes.  Now looking back, I can.  I gained a few a lot of grey hairs tonight, but I also refreshed my perspective on things. 
Tonight reminded me that things are not always as bad as we think they are, and if we give them time to work themselves out, instead of working ourselves into a panic, they usually will.  So that is what I vow to do...give things time to work themselves out...stop panicking...and remember that one day I will be able to look back on this time and laugh...or at least smile!

3:00 A.M.

Micah: Mooooma, I mnmnmnununungcucgmn my bed.
Me: (with one eye open) You peed in your bed?
Micah: No, I mnhjnbhgfthbnhguhunmn my bed.
Me:  You pooped in your bed?
Micah:  No, I minunubvbghftgyhnbjkm my bed.
Me: You threw up in your bed?
Micah: No, I minuhynmnfutchnjium my bed.
Me: (really listening now) So this has nothing to do with poop, puke, or pee?
Micah:  No, I fell out of my bed!
Me:  Well, go get back in your bed.
Micah: Okay.

It is 3:00 A.M. in my bedroom, welcome to my world!

Ronnie

I remember the month that Noah was born.  Joe and I had been married less than a year, were broke as could be, and found ourselves facing a mountain of unexpected bills and learning how to be parents all at the same time.  Needless to say it was a stressful time for both of us.  Toward the end of that month I found myself for the first (and so far only) time in my life writing a check to pay a bill that I knew would bounce as soon as it hit the bank unless a miracle happened.  Then that night as I sat there pouring over my check register praying that there was a mistake somewhere, I indeed found a mistake...only it was not the good kind of mistake.  Turns out our check was not going to bounce a little, but a lot!
That night is the first time I remember meeting Ronnie.  I was crying my eyes out and sick to my stomach when a car pulled into the yard.  Joe went out to see who it was and was gone for what I thought was a long time.  When I had gathered myself together I went out to see what was going on.  Turns out that Ronnie and Joe had done some trading or selling or whatever these guys do so frequently.  (I have yet to figure out if it is a trucker thing or just a redneck thing, but they swap and trade like nobody's business.)  I don't even remember what the object was that they were talking about but Ronnie pulled out a wad of money and said something like, "I know I owed you this from some time ago and thought I would bring it by"  Joe had forgotten about it and since it was from before Joe and I had gotten married, I didn't even know about the transaction.  Turns out it was just what we needed.  I asked Ronnie and Joe recently if they remembered that night and of course neither of them had any idea what I was talking about, but it is one of those moments that I will remember forever....the night that God provided by sending a truck driver named Ronnie.
Over the years Ronnie has been a fixture in our lives.  From him and Joe swapping tools or tires, helping each other out with mechanical stuff, and finally when Ronnie rescued Joe and I from Virginia (Do you remember my birthday trip gone bad?) and then started driving a truck for Little Joe's Trucking.  He and his family put up with lots of long hours.  Still, he was dedicated to the job before him.  When I underpaid him, (Yes, I know it is hard to believe but I sometimes I do make mistakes!) he patiently waited for me to sort it out and when I overpaid him, he was the first to point out the mistake and make sure that it got right.
When we had the fire at the shop last year, Ronnie just happened to call as everything was finally settling down.  I told him that everything was okay but that Joe would have to call him back later because he was with the firefighters.  Ronnie said that was fine and hung up the phone.  Before I knew it, he and his wife Tina were pulling into our driveway wanting to know what they could help with.  They did not ask if we needed them to come.  They did not say, "Call us if you need us."  They just showed up because they wanted to help whether we thought we needed them or not.  That showed more of their true character and meant more to both Joe and I than words could ever say.
Ronnie decided last week that it was time for a change.  It is a sad time for our family as he will be leaving Little Joe's trucking.  I am still trying to explain to the boys why "Uncle Ronnie's truck" is still on the yard.  It will take awhile before they associate that green Peterbilt with anything other than him!
However, with all of that said,  I believe that everything happens for a reason and in its own season.  We are grateful that God placed Ronnie and his family in our lives at the time that He did and wish him and his family all of the best in the future.  They have certainly been a blessing to us and I am sure they are going to be a blessing to many others as they seek another venture in life.