The Straw

It has been a rough couple of months here for us.  Between drivers quiting, major mechanical breakdowns, lack of work, and legal issues, we have had about as much as we can take financially and emotionally.  I have held up pretty well through all of it, believing that things will get better even if I can't see it at the moment...until tonight.  Tonight was nearly the straw that broke the camel's back.
Joe is trying to replace a motor in one of our trucks and had been back at the shop working on it all day today.  It is unusually cold here right now, in the twenties with a crazy wind that will knock your feet right out from under you.  In order to stay warm at the shop, Joe has a primitive but effective homemade wood burner that he uses.  I had just warned him this morning to be very careful with the fire, since we do not have luck with that and also because we are under a red flag warning for our county due to dry conditions and the crazy wind.  When Joe finally knocked off this evening and came into the house he said that he would not have been able to work back there if he had not had the fire going, but not to worry because he had put plenty of water all around the fire to make sure that it did not get out.
About 2:00 this morning, Joe woke me in a panic.  He said for me to get up and look back at the shop and tell him if he was seeing things or if our shop was on fire.  I ran to the window and saw a flickering glow all over the area where our shop is.  I immediately felt sick to my stomach and thought that for the first time in my life I was going to faint.  Joe was standing there in shock and asked me again to tell him that he was not seeing what he thought he was seeing.  The only thing I could say was "hurry, hurry, hurry".  He threw on his overalls and ran out the door.  He had walked home from the shop that evening, so he used my van to get back there quickly.  I checked on all the kids and then grabbed my jeans and tennis shoes (Yes, I remembered to put shoes on this time!) to run back there and help him.  As I was walking out the door, I thought about calling 911.  I could not stop the panic and tears as I ran back inside to grab my cell phone.  I turned it on and was dialing 911 when I saw Joe headed back up to the house in my van.  My first thought was that it was no use, that it was so bad he had not even tried to put it out.  Everything was a total loss.  I ran out to the van and Joe was smiling....yes, SMILING!  Turns out Joe had left the lights on at the shop and the wind was blowing so hard that it was literally shaking the entire shop and therefore giving the effect of flickering firelight.
And I thought that children took years off of your life...turns out that it is husbands that do the most damage!!! 
It has been nearly an hour, and I still can't sleep.  I keep thinking back to that moment when I truly thought all was lost.  At that moment I could not see a way out.  I could not see how it would get better.  I could not see a silver lining.  I certainly could not see myself laughing about it in the next five minutes.  Now looking back, I can.  I gained a few a lot of grey hairs tonight, but I also refreshed my perspective on things. 
Tonight reminded me that things are not always as bad as we think they are, and if we give them time to work themselves out, instead of working ourselves into a panic, they usually will.  So that is what I vow to do...give things time to work themselves out...stop panicking...and remember that one day I will be able to look back on this time and laugh...or at least smile!

Pride

Okay, I know that pride cometh before a fall, but I just have to brag on two of my guys a little bit.

First Joe.  I recently posted about some of the events that have transpired since our fire in January.  Joe and I have gotten all sorts of advice as to how to handle the situation, most of the advice being along the lines of suing and getting "everything you can get."  Joe and I were never comfortable with that idea, yet we knew that we needed to recoup our losses somehow.  The very same day that I posted the fire update on my blog, I was contacted by the property owners next door.  They wanted access to our property to take pictures and examine the damage for themselves.  I let them in the gate and they looked over everything.  They wanted to speak with Joe directly so that evening when he got off of work we went over and met with them.
To make a long story short, Joe told them that he was willing to work together to get things fixed and that we were not out to ruin anyone over an accident.  I was so proud of the way my husband let go of his pride and was able to calmly deal with the situation.  I do believe that God worked in their hearts as well as ours so that we could resolve this issue.  We worked out an agreement that is suitable for everyone and the repairs should start the end of April.  I think the most important outcome is that Joe and I walked away with a clear conscience and feeling that our Christian testimony was still intact.

Now on to the second guy that I am going to brag on.  We ran out of diapers Sunday and Jonah has taken to wearing big boy underwear like a champ!  He has only had two accidents and we are already on day four!  We ended up putting Micah back in diapers yesterday because he just is not quite ready, but Jonah is on a roll.  I am so proud of my big boy for finally getting out of diapers!

So there you go.  That is what I have to be proud of today.  I hope that tomorrow the neighbors do not back out of their agreement and Jonah does not go back to peeing in his pants.  Just maybe this one time, a fall will not follow my pride!

Fire Update

Remember that fire we had the end of January?  Although I am still grateful that things worked out so that we did not lose everything and that no one was seriously injured, I can't help but be a little upset about the way that things have progressed since then.  Our neighbor lady and the guy who apparently set the fire (privacy fence neighbor lady's 40 year old nephew) never came over to help us get the fire out, nor did they call to make amends.  They did not even bother to call and see if everyone was okay when the ambulance pulled up into my yard.
Even though the fire department and Joe got the fire out before it completely engulfed our old house, it still managed to do quite a bit of damage beforehand.  The guy who set the fire had to go to court the first of March to pay his fine for setting a fire during the period that there was a ban on burning because of weather conditions.  We were told to come to court that day as well with an estimate to repair the damages.  We got a contractor to come out and give us an estimate. (Which was a lot higher than I thought it would be but then again I was looking at the surface and not taking into consideration all of the things that were deemed no longer safe by the fire marshal) When we got to court, the guy told the judge that he lived with his Aunt rent free, had recently gotten out of prison, and did not have any source of income.  He did not even have enough money to pay his $100 fine.  The judge advised us to get a lawyer and sue him and his Aunt (the property owner) for the amount of the damages. 
That really was not what I wanted to hear.  I have never sued anyone for anything and I'm really not sure how I feel about it.  After court that day, Joe and I drove over to the neighbor lady's house and spoke with both her and her nephew.  Joe asked the nephew if he would be willing to physically help out with the repairs and maybe we could just resolve this peacefully.  The nephew said (paraphrasing here because I was so shocked I can't remember his exact words) that he did not have to do anything, we needed to take it to court and let the courts decide the outcome.  He said the worst thing they could do to him was to lock him up and he had been through that already and it wasn't so bad!
Really???  Now I know that this guy did not intentionally set our house on fire...at least I would hope not.  It was a mistake, and while I do not think that his life should be ruined over a mistake, I do think that there should be some consequences.  So the question I keep coming back to is whether or not the $100 fine is enough of a consequence for him, and whose place is that to decide?  I don't know who gets the benefit from the fine.  I would hope that it goes to the firefighters who dropped everything they were doing that day to come out and help us.
We did go see a lawyer who sent them a letter asking for the home owner's insurance information.  So far they have not responded to that.  For now, Joe has put up heavy plastic over the windows and door to prevent any further damage from the elements, but we have not started any other repairs.
As a Christian, where is the balance between demanding restitution from someone who has wronged you and letting them walk all over you?

Scorched

Between our house and the shop we have a little patch of pines that have been there since Joe bought the property.  I love looking out the window every morning and feeling like I truly am waking up in the forest.  I know it sounds corny but it is nice to look out and see trees rather than dirt, asphalt, or another building.  I mean, I would take a beach or mountain view any day, but since I do not have those right outside my back door, I enjoy the woods.

See what I mean?  It is a lovely view (as long as I don't let myself think too long about what types of critters live in, around, and under those trees).  Unfortunately during the course of the fire a few weeks ago some of our trees were left scorched.

The entire row of trees next to the shop drive were scorched and now their needles are turning brown and falling off. Joe says that he does not know if they will survive or not. We will have to wait and see and may end up having to cut that row. I am hoping that they will live because I really do enjoy my view of the trees!

Now just as springtime is getting here and everything else is turning nice and green, when I look up from under my trees all I see is brown...

...when I should be seeing green.

The really interesting part (to me) is that the trees did not start turning until more than a week after the fire.  I woke up one morning and was shocked to see that they were dying.  I called Joe to the window to show him that our trees were dying and he said, "Denise, do you not remember the fire?"  Well of course I remembered the fire, but it had not even touched the trees and I had no idea that just the heat alone from the fire would do that much damage to our trees. 

As I was pondering the fate of our trees another thought came to me.  Just as that fire did damage to our trees that it did not even touch how much so does sin that is just between one person and God do damage to others around whom it seems it has not even touched.  And just as the damage to our trees did not show up until later, how long will it be before the damage from sin rears it's head in those other people?

Anyway, that is my deep thought for the year...

Panic

This post is just a warning for all of my friends and family.  If you are ever in an emergency situation...DO NOT CALL ME!  It is not that I would not want to help out, it is just that I am no good when it comes to keeping a level head in emergency situations. 
Case in point... a few weeks ago when we had the fire, I ran outside to fight the fire not even wearing shoes!  Not a smart move.  Then in climbing in and out of the big trucks in order to move them, I climbed right over the fire extinguishers that we are required by law to keep in the trucks and did not even think to use them.  I'm not sure I would even know how to use them if the time came and I remembered to try.  My hands were shaking so bad at that point I don't know that it would have done much good to try anyway.
My hat goes off to all of the firefighters, paramedics, and other emergency workers out there.  They do a job that I would never be able to do.  I never thought of my job as a mother of three active boys and wife of a crazy truck driver as calm and quiet, but compared to what some do with their days, my life is a piece of cake.  So I think I will be sticking with my day job and leave the adrenaline rushes to everyone else.

Fire

Saturday was an interesting day for us.  I was sure that it was going to be a busy one as Joe had work to do at his parent's house, Noah had a birthday party to attend and Jonah was in the middle of the flu.  The plan was for Joe to go to work, Mom to keep Jonah at her house, and me to take Noah and Micah to the bowling party.  Unfortunately (or so we thought at the time) the birthday boy got sick and the party was cancelled.  That meant Noah went to work with Joe and I planned to stay home in my pajamas to take care of the two little ones.

Just after lunch I was getting ready to put the little ones down for a nap when I saw heavy smoke out the back window.  At first I did not think much of it since I had a fire going in the fireplace and the wind was blowing pretty strong.  Then I realized that no matter how strong the wind was blowing, my little fireplace was not even capable of putting out that amount of smoke. 

 I went to the side door and what I saw nearly took my breath away.  The next door neighbor (privacy fence side) was burning trash in her back yard and the fire had gotten away from her.  It was barreling across the field straight back to our old house and shop.  I first called Joe to tell him to come home so he could help me get it out.  My next call was to my Mom to help me with the babies while I fought the fire. 

 I ran out the door (neglecting to put on shoes or a bra), threw the kids in the van and sped down the dirt road back to the shop to try and head the fire off with the water hose.  By the time I had gotten to the shop the wind had picked up and the fire was crossing the fence line to the front yard of our old home.  We now use that home for storage and part of Joe's shop.  I turned on the shop water hose but the fire was too hot for me to get to the front of the old house to use that hose.  (Remember that I was barefoot!)

 Realizing that there was no way that I could put this fire out myself I tried calling 911 while I started cranking up the big trucks to move them out of harms way.  My crazy phone decided at that moment to act up.  Since I could not use the keypad I tried using voice recognition to dial 911.  My phone has a hard time recognizing the numbers I say even when my voice is not laced with panic, so it really had a hard time understanding me while I was screaming numbers at the top of my lungs.  Finally the phone started ringing so I thought it had gotten through.  It rang a couple of times and then a woman's voice said, "Walterboro Pizza Hut, May I help you?"  At that point I wanted to throw my phone into the fire.  I needed a fire truck, not a pizza!

By this time the flames were already on the front porch of the old house and I decided that it was not worth risking my life or the lives of my babies (who were still sitting in my van) so I sped back up the road to the house to remove them from danger and to call 911 on our home phone.

 On the way up the drive I heard sirens coming and then I saw Joe pull into the drive.  I quickly filled him in and he and Noah headed back to the shop so Joe could try and slow the progression of the fire.  Then the wind shifted and the fire started coming across the field in the direction of our current home.  I saw the fire engine but it pulled into my neighbor's yard instead of mine. (My guess is that she is the one that called 911)

 Our firefighters are all a volunteer force so I grew up with most of them.  I drove over and told them they need to get to my yard because the old house was already on fire.  The second truck pulled into my yard, but stopped at the corner of our current house because the fire was threatening to jump the drive and catch our privacy fence on fire.

 The smoke was so thick that they could not even see that we had structures (the old house and the shop) in the back of the property that were already in danger too.  I finally got their attention (imagine me screaming and jumping up and down, bare feet, wearing my pajamas, and looking like I hadn't had sleep or a shower in three days...I did have a kid with the flu) and they realized what I was talking about.  They headed back to the shop to find that Joe was making a valiant effort, but a garden hose is not exactly fire fighting material.  My Mom showed up at that point and she stayed with the boys while I ran inside to find a bra and some shoes!

The firefighters helped Joe knock the rest of the flames down and we all assessed the damage.  Many of them said that they had never seen a mobile home get that close to burning and not be totally destroyed.  The fire charred the front porch, broke out the front windows, destroyed the front door, warped the metal siding, and melted the vinyl underpinning.  Inside the house you can see around the door and window where the flames literally licked the inside of the house but save for a little smoke, nothing else inside was damaged.

After the fire was out and I thought things were calming down, one of the firefighters called me over and said that he was going to have to call an ambulance.  I looked over to find Joe being led away with a firefighter on each side to a truck with medical supplies on board.  We figured it was best for the boys to not be there when the ambulance arrived, so Grammy and Pa took the boys home to their house and I stayed with Joe while they treated him for smoke inhalation. After resting for a while with the oxygen, he felt much better and we were able to send the ambulance away empty.

It could have been so much worse.  So we lost our front porch, it can always be rebuilt.  None of us were seriously injured.  Although the fire came within feet of the shop, it did not touch it.  If it had someone could have really gotten hurt with all of the diesel fuel, propane cylinders, and acetylene tanks we have.  Had the party not been cancelled, no one would have even been home and we could have possibly lost everything we owned.  God truly was watching out for us Saturday.