Did Not

My two year old did not walk all the way from our backyard and nearly a quarter of a mile down the main road to the neighbors house unnoticed by either of his parents.  There is certainly no way that he did it while wearing only a diaper.  Joe and I are much too responsible for that.  We know who is watching each of our children at all times and never lose track of any of them.

My seven year old did not inform me that my two year old was standing in the middle of the road while I was sitting on my neighbors front porch visiting.  I did not start screaming like a lunatic and trample the neighbor's flower beds trying to get to him when I realized that said two year old must have followed the seven year old and I as we walked to the neighbor's house earlier.

My husband did not calmly say, "Oh, I thought you knew he decided to go with you" when I called him to tell him what happened.  It did not take emptying my stomach contents and nearly an hour to stop shaking.

Nope, none of this happened today.  I refuse to believe it.