Technical Difficulties

Technology used to be my friend.  Now I think it conspires against me.  This all started last year sometime when I had to get a new cell phone.  At first I hated the thought of getting rid of my old cell (that was held together with duct tape) but the more I used my new phone, the more I liked it.  My kids liked it too...therein lies the problem. 
First, Micah bought a ring back on my cell phone and I can not figure our how to get it off.  I did not even realize it was on there until my Mom called one day and asked what I had done to my phone.  I had no idea what she was talking about so I called myself and heard, "Please enjoy the music while your party is reached" after which came this horrible rap music.  I was appalled that people had been hearing this when they called me...and still hear it since I can not figure out how to remove it.  Most people call and hang up because they can not believe they actually have the right number.
That leads me to my second problem.  When people call and hang up, I try and call them back to let them know that it really is me.  The problem lies in that my phone has a mind of it's own.  The key pad on my phone is confused.  When I press the number eight, it dials the number two.  When I press the number two, it dials the number eight.  All of the numbers are that way.  It really is like trying to dial in Morse code or something, and you can forget about texting...oh my!  If I ever do get to connect somewhere I pray that there is a real life person on the other end and not a computer since the phone also dials the number two as soon as it connects.  That means that if I have to follow any instructions for a directory they are in Spanish.
I took the phone into Verizon to have someone look at it and wouldn't you know that it works perfectly while in the store or in the parking lot of the store.  However, if I get farther than the parking lot it acts up again.
So my options are:

Stay in or near a Verizon store when I want to use my cell phone.

-or-

Risk embarrassment a third time by asking for help in a Verizon store.

As it is I will still be embarrassed every time someone calls my phone and hears that crazy rap music.  My Dad has gotten into the habit of calling several times a day just to hear my music.  He says he enjoys it.  I'm glad someone is getting pleasure from my trials, because I am ready to throw my hands up and quit!