Can You Guess?

Which one of our children licked a lit sparkler on New Year's Eve?

~or~

Which one of our children wrecked the go-kart into the ditch?

~or~

Which one of our children discovered the BIG reaction you get when you moon someone?

What A Man

I was sick yesterday.  Really sick.  At one point I could not find the strength to even crawl off of the bathroom floor.  I had Noah bring me the phone and I called Joe for help.  He came in early from work and took over for me.
He took one look at me retching my guts out, closed the bathroom door and did not come back in!  I guess gone are the days of him sitting beside me wanting to hold back my hair.  Anyway, I could hear through the baby monitor that Joe was dressing the boys and he took them outside to cut wood with him.  I think I passed out because when I came back around it was to the sounds of Joe trying to get supper (raisin toast) for the boys. 
I never knew raisin toast could be so hard to prepare.  There was whining from three hungry cold little boys and yelling from my hubby.  GET OFF THE TABLE!  GET OUT OF THE CABINETS! STOP WHINING AND GO SIT DOWN!  IT WILL BE READY WHEN I SAY IT IS READY!  THERE IS BUTTER ON YOUR TOAST, NOW SIT DOWN AND EAT IT! NOAH WHERE DOES YOUR MOM KEEP THE BAND AIDS? I'm not really sure how one cuts himself while preparing raisin toast, but Jonah came running into my room screeching that Daddy cut his fingers off.  I laid there and wept as I heard my family unraveling at the seams.
Pretty soon I could tell that they must have been fed and were feeling better as I could hear happy sounds through the monitor with old Dukes of Hazzard reruns in the background.  What I heard next brought tears afresh.  I heard my husband speak to each of the boys, apologize for his earlier behavior, and ask for their forgiveness.
Joe may not parent exactly the way that I do, but essentially he does what any good parent should.  He adapts to the circumstances life throws at him.  Sure he makes mistakes, but he recognizes and corrects them as soon as possible.
So he doesn't hold back my hair anymore, but he takes good care of our babies.  All in all I still think I got a great catch.  What a man!
For those of you keeping track (MOM) I realize that this is twice within the same week that I have been violently sick to my stomach, but to my knowledge baby number four is NOT on the way...................yet.

LOL

Jonah:  That scared me so bad I almost peed my pants!

Noah:  Jonah, you wear diapers.  You pee your pants every day.

Me:  Bahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Family Friendly?

Joe and I took the kids to the park this afternoon for some free time.  When we got to the park, the older boys took off for the playground equipment while Joe and I headed for a bench swing with Micah.  As soon as I sat down I smelled a rather peculiar odor, but said nothing about it.  Joe sat down next to us, looked down at his feet and said, "Tell me that is not what I think it is." 

I looked down and sure enough the ground all around our feet was covered with dried green herbs that definitely were not oregano or parsley.  Obviously someone had spilled their baggie full of marijuana on the ground and was either in a hurry to escape or was too stoned to realize what had happened.
Joe started kicking at the ground (to try and cover it up with sand) which only intensified the smell and got it all in his work boots and my shoes. Noah of course chose that moment to walk over and ask what we were doing.

I am furious that I even had to come up with an answer to that question.  I mean, we were in the park for crying out loud...a children's park with playgrounds.  What has happened to our society that someone would think it was acceptable to go to a public children's park to smoke their weed?
Or maybe it was someone selling there and dropped their stash.  That makes me even angrier.  What chance do our children have if they are finding drugs on the playground at six years old?

Is there nowhere left that is family friendly?  Do I have to keep my children in the house all the time in order to keep them from being subjected to drugs, alcohol, foul language, and sexual perversion?  I know that at some point in thier lives they will  have to face all of those things, but at six years old they should only be worried about which swing to swing on, not what the green stuff is all over Daddy's shoes.

Laughter

My kids make me laugh. Some of the things they come up with are just too funny. For example:

Jonah's reaction to trying asparagus at the dinner table last night..."I just can't like it!"

Noah asking me when we could roast mushrooms over the fire again. (Instead of marshmallows)

I love being a mother. It certainly adds a lot of laughter to an otherwise rather dull life.

Who?

Since our anniversary was this week, I decided to pull out some of our wedding photos and look though them with the boys. They always want to know why they are not in any of the pictures! Jonah was doing a pretty good job of recognizing people until we got to this picture...

Me: Who is that? (Pointing to Joe)

Jonah: My Daddy

Me: And who is that? (Pointing to myself)

Jonah: Ummmmm....JESUS!

My children certainly do think of me with high regards!

Genius

I am convinced that I am raising genius children. I would like to think that it has something to do with my intelligence, but after this morning's conversations I am no longer so sure.
Trying to keep the kids occupied while we waited on Noah's ride to school, I decided to test Noah's math skills. I would give him an addition or subtraction problem and he would shout out the answer. He was doing really well and boasted that I could not stump him. I could not let him think he was smarter than me so I challenged him to stump me instead. He said "Okay, what is infinity plus infinity?" Ummmm....Oh look, there comes your ride!
I decided to move to Jonah at that point. I would say the name of an animal and he would make the correct noise. I gave him cow, pig and chicken. He came back with moo, oink, and cluck. I thought I could redeem myself and at least prove that I was smarter than my two year old, so I asked him what sound an alligator makes. Without missing a beat he came back with "CHOMP CHOMP"!
I did not get a chance to test Micah's wit, and I am pretty sure that is a good thing. I don't know how I would have taken being out witted by all three of my children. They certainly do keep me on my toes.