Happy Birthday

"It is a good deal like a bad tooth...though you won't think THAT a very romantic simile.  It takes spells of aching and gives you a sleepless night now and then, but between times it lets you enjoy life and dreams and echoes and peanut candy as if there were nothing the matter with it."  ~ Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea

That is one of my favorite quotes out of the "Anne" books.  It comes at the point when Miss Lavendar is talking to Anne about a broken heart, but it can be used for so many things.  I think grief is a lot like that.  There are days when it lets you go on about your life as you please and then there are those other days...those special days....birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas...when the pain is still so strong that it sucks the breath right out of your chest.

Today is one of those days.  Granny Faye's birthday is today and for the second year in a row she is celebrating in heaven.  I know that she is experiencing a far better day than I could ever plan for her if she were here, but oh to just have that chance again...

If she were here and I had that chance, I would of course get her some type of flower because she just loved watching things come to life this time of year.  Then I would complain about this rain and she would remind me to be thankful for it.  She would fuss at me for not having shoes on Ezrah.....

Oh Ezrah, she would get to hold him and smear lipstick on his cheek because I know she would kiss him.  She would LOVE his curls, but she would probably tell me it is time that I cut them.  And although she never met him, if I close my eyes I can almost see him sitting in her lap and that look of pure joy that passed on her face any time she was around my children.....

I can see her smile, smell her scent, and hear her voice...and I miss her so much.  Soon the boys will be up, and in the chaos of the day the sorrow will take a back burner.  It will allow me to "enjoy life and dreams and echoes and peanut candy" as I help my children remember their Granny Faye on this day.  But for now it leaves me sleepless and with an aching heart....

Happy Birthday in heaven Granny Faye.