Let Me Hold On Longer

"Long ago you came to me, a miracle of firsts: first smiles and teeth and baby steps, a sunbeam on the burst. But one day you will move away and leave to me your past, and I will be left thinking of a lifetime of your lasts..."

One of my favorite books is Let Me Hold You Longer by Karen Kingsbury. It is actually a children's book but every time Noah and I read it I have to hold back tears. The book is about the fact that we celebrate all the "firsts" that come into a child's life, but we seldom remember their "lasts".

Jonah slept for eight hours last night, the longest stretch yet. It is very exciting, but in a way it is kind of sad. Even though I am looking forward to more sleep, I am going to miss my nights with him. I love our middle of the night feedings and the knowledge that I am providing for him everything he needs to grow. My heart breaks at the thought that the first night he sleeps through will also be the last night that I get to give him a middle of the night feeding and experience all of the cuddling and bonding that accompany them. It isn't that I don't want him to grow up, it is just that I want to make sure that I am cherishing every minute of his life and not rushing to get to the next stage.

My baby is growing up so quickly and I have no idea where the time has gone. "Let me hold on longer, God, to each and every precious last."